5 Tips for Teens (and everyone else) to Gain Better Self-Esteem

The all elusive self-esteem.  So many articles have been written about it.  Why, because poor self-esteem can reek havoc on our lives.  We make poor decisions, put ourselves in situations that are less than desirable, and judge ourselves and others disproportionately.  All of the girls I work with struggle with this in different degrees.  I know I did as a teen and young adult.  I still have my moments but I know how to work with it now.

The thing is, when we feel good about ourselves we make good decisions, we attract good people into our lives, and we are able to take advantage of amazing opportunities that only continue to increase our self-esteem.  So how do we get some?  Here is my top five ways to start increasing your self-esteem now.

#1 Get a sense of humor – Yes, one of the most important things you can do if you want to get better self-esteem is to get a sense of humor.  Learning how to laugh at yourself and some of the embarrassing things that happen shut down negative self-talk.  Let’s face it, we all do embarrassing and “un-cool” things but that makes us who we are.  Not taking those things too seriously allows us to concentrate on what we are doing well.  People bond over silly embarrassing things especially when you own them.  Owning the quirky and sometimes embarrassing things about yourself helps you to feel less vulnerable and more empowered.  It’s about accepting yourself and learning that the un-cool is pretty cool and fun.  It’s what makes you, you. Have fun with it!

#2 Be Brave – Being brave is one of my favorite and most frustrating ways of being and it always makes me feel better about myself.  Being brave isn’t just about saving a baby from a burning building, it’s also just saying hi to someone in the hallway.  It’s the little things that take you out of your comfort zone that you build upon.  Start small and build yourself up.  Remember, being brave is sometimes just showing up and being you.  Acknowledging those small acts of bravery helps you to see how amazing you really are which leads to #3.

#3 Celebrate and Acknowledge your Successes (especially the small ones) – Getting in the practice of celebrating your successes, especially the small ones helps set up a deep sense of positive self-worth.  It is important to see where you came from and where you are now.  It helps to keep you moving forward and feeling good about where you are going.

#4 Try pointing out what is going right – OK, some days you might have to be more creative than others to find something going right.  But let’s face it there is always more going right than we notice.  Having a negative view is just a habit, it can be changed.   I know because I am naturally pretty negative.  With awareness, effort, and a sense of humor you can turn around those negative thoughts and see the gifts in situations that would normally seem disastrous.  It takes some time and occasionally a little help but it definitely makes you feel better about yourself and your situation.

#5 Stop comparing yourself to others (especially on social media) – Not many people upload pics on Instagram of them sitting around looking as though they have no life or friends.  Social media is the biggest public relations platform.  It is all about how things appear to be, which can totally mess with your head and self-esteem.  Let’s ride the roller coaster of getting over 100 likes of the new pic you posted (I am awesome!) to seeing a pic of a bunch of girls you know appearing to have a great time (why is everyone’s life better than mine?).  Someone’s social media profile is what they want you to see and not how things may truly be.  Stop judging yourself and others by the image that gets put out there.

These are five of the most common things I help teens and young adults with.  Sometimes you need help with this.  I did and it changed my life.  All five concepts are very simple in theory but not always so simple to implement without some help or coaching.  That’s where I come in.  It is my passion to help teens and young adults have killer self-esteem and live the lives they really want with passion and confidence.  If you’re ready to start living a life full of self-esteem and confidence let’s talk about teen life coaching and how it can help you.

Renee McClure